Last night over drinks with friends, I found myself talking about the value of communication in relationships across the room from a girl with whom I have not yet stated my full intentions. We are stuck in a sort of limbo: I was told she is still attached to someone else, and I don’t want to impose myself in their situation. At this point, I don’t know if it is a selfless or selfish move to verbalize this with her seeing as we have become friends over the last few months.

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unrequited

i seem to be so drawn to the unrequited
giving all my attention undivided
showing up, waiting to be invited
offering her more than she’d been provided
helping her gain clarity when she’s undecided
absolutely entranced as she bats her eyelids
listening to the wrongs that the other guys did
reassuring her that she was just misguided
when she’s she does wrong, i help her right it
when her day feels dark, i help her light it

these emotions that i have just confided
i’ve had the sudden urge to write about it
it may evenhelp if i recite it
if only both our hearts collided
oh, it is always so one-sided
sometimes i just need to be reminded
not to be so drawn to the unrequited

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To make up for “lost time” and “lost money” due to the Omicron surge in January, I took in more projects with tight margins and challenging deadlines in February; I seem to be spreading myself too thin. Although I am going about each day with a certain sense of calm, I am starting to notice deficiencies in my performance in managing my projects. After turning some of these projects over, I definitely need to take time off.

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Mac DeMarco: “I like making the songs, but also enjoying myself. It’s a huge part of the equation. And making sure that my band is comfortable, making sure that the people in the crowd are comfortable. I am just really lucky to have an opportunity to support myself and go out. We’re just having a good time so no complaints.”

Enjoy what you do. Look after the people around you. Have fun.

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So many people around me getting sick.
They can’t seem to help it.
It is everywhere,
spreading uncontrollably,
infiltrating the previously unaffected.
It affects the way we live,
the way we interact with others,
the way we perceive others.
Is there any way to subdue the spread
of the mental anxiety caused by the pandemic?

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Tan Emmanuel

Tan Emmanuel

uncurated rambles for my posting pleasure